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Fri, Jan. 20th, 2006, 04:25 pm

My grandfather passed away today while i was holding him in my arms. He will be forever loved and missed.

I love you Pep

Mon, Dec. 12th, 2005, 08:33 pm

ok, so i hardly EVER write on here anymore but i needed somewhere to go to vent...

MYSPACE is pissing me off...sometimes it works great, other times it takes forever to load then tells me...umm cant find server...sonofabitch!!!!

ahhh...ok anyway, i feel better

Tue, Sep. 20th, 2005, 08:25 pm
just a thought

why is it that when you know who you want to be with, the one that consumes your thoughts for extended moments throughout everyday, the circumstances never seem to be right. either one of you is with someone else, or there is too much history to try again, or the distance is too great to overcome. i wish i could snap my fingers and fastforward time to see where i will be in the future. i wonder....

Wed, Jul. 27th, 2005, 09:40 pm
its about time...

so, i went to the open house tonight at WCC...they administered a test in which we had to get an 80 or higher to be eligable for an interview. well i was the first one done and i passed with flying colors! 96. so i have the first interview on friday morning at 0730...blah. but hey, being first is usually a good thing, especially with all of my qualifications. im excited, although im not looking forward to waking up early, nor having to go home early from the bar thursday night lol. anyway...im going to try to get some rest tonight to make up for the lack i will have tomorrow.

Tue, Jul. 26th, 2005, 04:41 pm

I just wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday. You told me not to call you or contact you, so i am doing it here. Hope your day is as perfect as possible. I wish I could be there with you to celebrate. Be careful.

Fri, Jul. 22nd, 2005, 11:20 am

ok so i dont know where to begin when telling the story of what happened last night. i can list off about 5 people who were trying to get in my pants....wtf?? and the worst of it, is one of these chicks is 48!!!! ummm yeah, that would NEVER happen. anyway, i had to have a few of my friends basically put a barricade around me so i wouldnt get molested any worse than i was. it worked for a while but everytime i would go outside or to the bar for another drink, they'd be all over me again. so, needless to say the only person who had any luck saving me was Nancy. and then after a few of us went to dennys at like 2am in portland, then i had to drive home to my dads. blah i didnt get home til about 315. and i had to wake up cause i have to paint Dick's house today...blah blah blah. i really dont have any energy.

lets hope i make it through the day.

Wed, Jul. 6th, 2005, 01:14 am
a much needed night

so tonight i had a bunch of offers to go out to the bars and party and shit, but i wasnt feeling quite up to it after last night. i visited my aunt to get some of my shit from her basement, and then i went over and saw neil. i havent seen my boy in forever. we sat outside and watched it rain for a while then we decided to go inside. we laid on his bed for a while and started talking about old times and catching up on whats been going on lately. we decided to get out for a little bit and go shoot some pool. we have so much fun together no matter what we find ourselves doing. we talked a lot about relationships, past, current and future. we told each other about how we feel about other people and we both listened. we talked about who we want to be with and who we can see ourselves with for the rest of our lives. we talked about who we could see ourselves sharing our "white picket fences" with lol. its encouraging to have someone who knows me so well, and is at the same point in their lives as i am. being ready to settle down, but wanting to have someone to share it with us. it put things into a new perspective for me in some sense. it felt good to talk to someone who already knows the background information on my life and not have to go into detail on everything that has previously happened. i would just say something and he would know exactly how i felt about it and what i needed to hear. i just hope what we discussed and the conclusions we felt were right will be the ultimate results of our lives. i know everything happens for a reason, and time will tell all. i just wonder how much time before everything reveals itself, when will i know where my future is headed. who will i be with, where will i live, what will i be doing for a career? will i find happiness yet again and be able to hold onto it with both hands and never let it slip away again? have i honestly matured as much as i feel i have and be able to make the decisions i will be faced with?

Sat, Jul. 2nd, 2005, 04:44 pm

ok so im back home, where i belong. it feels really weird to be back though, and knowing that im not home for only a week or two at a time. im here for good. some people may think thats a good thing, others would prefer that i never come back. well, im here for now, and im not planning on going anywhere. the navy was an experience for me, whether a positive/negative, im undecided.

im going to go relax now, ive been up for about 36 hours, with a 13 hour drive included. blah.

Fri, Jun. 3rd, 2005, 09:16 pm

Alphabet of bordem:

A - Act your age – 21
B - Breast size – big enough for me
C - Chore you hate – dusting
D - Dad's name – Pete
E - Essential make up item – ummm lets go with NONE
F - Favorite singer – depends on what genre...but i love simple plan
G - Gold or silver - Silver or white gold
H - Hometown – Lewiston, Maine
I - Instruments you play – air guitar and air drums
J - Job title – ugh, no longer a sailor haha
K - Kids – not sure
L - Living arrangements – im in VA soon to be back in ME
M - Mom's name – Sue
N - Number of people you've slept with – .....25
O - Overnight hospital stays – umm 1
P - Phobia – heights
Q - Quote you like – "what hurts worse, the pain of knowing, or the pain of wondering"
R - Religious affiliation – Catholic, not practicing
S - Siblings - Amanda (blood sister) Jenn and Melissa (step sister)
T - Time you wake up – lately, 0515
U - Underwear of choice – boxers/boxer briefs
V - Vegetable you refuse to eat – cauliflower
W - Worst habit – overanalyzing everything
X - X-rays you've had – a lot
Y - Yummy food you make – depends on my mood
Z - Zodiac Sign – Scorpio baby hehe
Current Mood: bored

Tue, May. 31st, 2005, 01:54 pm

ok here is the scoop. im planning on coming back home in a few weeks. its summer, and its been a while since ive gone out and actually partied. i want to come home and live it up. at least for a few weeks lol then i have to settle down and get my life on track. any single friends?? bring them along too haha.

i may even talk to my dad and see if i can have a party up at camp. we'll all have to carpool...but it'll be a kegger. if anyone has any ideas or plans for me, hit me up. i'll see everyone soon!

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